On to security. What a goat rope, literally. It was like Disneyland, back and forth through the ropes, but NOBODY smiled.

I asked if we had to take our shoes off. The guard tersely said, 

“Yes.”

“We don’t have to take our shoes off in Australia,” I replied smiling. He looked at me and said nothing.

“You don’t care, do you?”

“Nope,” he said as blandly as he possibly could.

I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing. That guy takes his job way too seriously. He was probably demoted to Check Boarding Pass and Passenger ID from monitoring the scanner and playing with the gadgets…and did they have gadgets galore! Problem was they were broken! My 10 inch by 3 inch diameter stainless steel thermos of coffee made it though, but my body scan showed I had something in my crotch.